Recently, I became interested in the “Am I the Asshole?” stories on Reddit. I watched a lot of them on Smosh Pit through YouTube and they presented them in videos entertainingly. I also checked the subreddit myself and came across many stories that piqued my interest.

One story was about a group of friends. In that group was a guy, and he was in charge of being the ride. He was sending two girls home one day when one of them said she didn’t feel safe to be alone with him after the first girl was sent home. It would take him an extra 20 minutes to make her feel safe and he declined to do so. The comments all said he was not the asshole.

Another was about a couple. One of them liked clowns, and decorated his house with such. His girlfriend did not like them, and asked for them to be removed, but he said that he had the right to enjoy the decorations in his own home. She had attempted to compromise before, but she still couldn’t get over it. He declined to change things and Smosh Pit agreed he was not the asshole.

Yet another was about a couple. The girlfriend wanted to pursue stand up comedy, and it was over 5 years that she had been trying to make it. Her boyfriend covered most of the expenses, and one day, he decided to be clear to her that she was never going to make it, and not being able to save as much as he’d like was taking a toll. This time, they called him the asshole.

Unfortunately, I disagreed with all three of these situations when it came to who was the asshole. I began to question my judgement, and wondered if I was still delusional, but I was reminded of this verse in the Bible:

1 Corinthians 8:13 (New International Version)

¹³ Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.

The biblical way is to put others first. Paul was so convinced of this lesson that he was determined to make a change that affected his daily life just so he could protect someone he loved.

If it takes 20 minutes of your time to make someone feel safe, is that such a huge price to pay?

And if your question is “how little can I do in this relationship to make my girlfriend/boyfriend happy?”, then you’re not ready for a relationship.

And if your dreams are taking away from the life your partner can have, that he’s planning for both of you, then you’re no longer acting in love. (Nevertheless, he could’ve worded it better, I admit that.)

Life is not about making yourself happy.

Life is about serving God and your neighbours.

I have also been watching many crime documentaries as of late, and I came to realise one common thread in all these criminals.

All of them are not happy.

Isaiah 48:22 (New International Version)

²² “There is no peace,” says the Lord, “for the wicked.”

It reminded me of this verse.

All of them have communicated somehow that they tired of life.

Why?

That’s because they lived outside of God’s will.

They lived with themselves as their gods. Their sole purpose in life was to serve themselves.

How can they be happy?

If you are craving happiness, but can’t seem to get it, I invite you to question whether you are within God’s will for your life.

God is the Author of happiness. He can make you happy. The fact that you might not be happy right now may be tied to that.

Disclaimer: Not all people who are suffering are outside of God’s will. Remember Job? He was completely within God’s will and yet suffered greatly.

Psalm 37:4 (English Standard Version)

⁴ Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

This verse teaches that when you derive your joy from the Lord, then He will give you all you desire.

That means that when you are renewed in Christ, you start to desire the things that God desires.

Then this is where you will gain happiness.

Wanting God to be God is very different from wanting God to help you.

I get that the very intent to serve others to gain peace and happiness for your soul is in itself selfish, but it’s where most of us start.

After that, it becomes less selfish, and we get to the point where we derive contentment from giving God glory alone.

From all these stories that I have been consuming recently, I came to a conclusion.

This world operates on the premise of “I should put myself before other people”.

But that is not what the bible preaches.

And we are called to be set apart from the world that is perishing.

So, my beloved, start living the way God wants you to live.

For Him and His people.