Before I start going into what I believe is the right way to help an ex cult member back into the faith, I want to give you some background information.
I myself was an ex cult member.
I was based in Singapore, but as a teenager who was the only Christian at home surrounded by God haters, and no real friends at school either, I became isolated.
I joined a cult online by this South Korean church that claimed to experience personal appearings by Jesus, and I believed them because I was vulnerable, and wanted a place I could belong to.
I was tormented by this cult for about 10 years before God finally worked in my life to pull me away from it, and lead me back to grace.
So I would like to state here that I have firsthand experience of what it’s like to have religious trauma stemming from a cult, so I believe I am qualified to give advice on this area.
I am not speaking from ignorance.
Perhaps you’ve come across a person in real life, or online, who was victimised by a cult, and you want to make sure that this person knows the real Jesus, not the fake God their cult taught them.
That is a good desire, but many times it can be misguided.
Your intent is to draw this person back into the true religion. But this person has experienced the side of religion that is fake, and is poison. To them, you would not be drawing them back to the true religion, but back to the poison.
Even if you are very sure that your religion is real and your motives are pure – I’m not saying your religion is also false – but this person is not at a place to discern the poison from the truth because the poison is all that person has ever known.
Personally, it took me many years of purposely being a non-Christian for me to heal fully from religious trauma, and even now there is still some fear left.
Religious trauma is like driving a nail into a piece of board. Even if that nail has been removed, there remains a hole in that wood that can’t be patched up again.
It took me walking down the path of sin to realise that God loves me whether or not I live in sin.
Sometimes, a closed bible can heal too.
An ex cult member needs some separation from the gospel to heal from all the wrong beliefs they have about Christianity.
It’s misguided zeal if you approach this person incessantly, trying to bring them back into Christianity. You are only pushing them further away.
Yes, the person requires the true gospel, but her re-entry must be initiated by herself, not you.
I believe that every person suffering from religious trauma needs time and separation to properly heal, before they can consider tackling the question of faith again. Till then, we can pray, love them fearlessly and do one other thing.
Let the bible they read be the way we live our lives.
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