Last year, I was waiting on God to answer a prayer that I have been waiting on for almost a decade. I was deep in my pain, and crying continuously for several days straight. It felt like I would die if I did not have my prayer answered right then and there.

I had read about Jacob wrestling with God, and I wanted that to happen to me too. I wanted to wrestle an answer out of God, and force His hand by moving His heart to compassion with my tears. In hindsight, I realise I was trying to take advantage of His love for me.

But in the past few years, this was a desire that never went away no matter what I did to try and give up on it. It always came back.

And I tried so many ways to change my lifestyle. To change the circumstances I was in, because I was thinking: Maybe God is waiting for me to get into the right spot before He says yes to me.

I was chasing after a job at that time as an author, and I kept switching from serial writing platforms like Inkitt or Wattpad to Amazon or Kobo. When one didn’t work out, I quit it after a few months for the other. I had a lot of success as a serial writer, and amassed tons of reads, but even with a wide readership, it was a struggle to earn a stable income.

And I assumed that I was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I just had to get my decisions right, to put myself in the right place for Him to give me my breakthrough. I just had to find the right set of circumstances to be in so that He could make things work.

I thought that I just had to pray more. And seek Him with all I have. That was what I lacked, some act on my part that would then kick everything into motion, and God would then say “Aha! She’s right where I want her. Now it’s time to give her what she wants.”

If you’re anything like me, you’ve also entertained the same line of thinking.

Are my decisions hindering God from giving me what I want?

Can my decisions stop God’s plan for me?

I’ve learnt that the answer is a huge, resounding NO.

The first truth we must all learn is that God is sovereign.

That means that He is in control of everything.

He is all knowing, and all powerful. He has all the power over every single aspect of His creation.

Our actions are not greater than His actions.

He is not waiting for us to make some special decision that will change everything, and give Him the power to answer our prayers.

If you are in the season of waiting, and God has yet to answer your prayer, He has every intention for you to wait.

The truth is, our seasons of waiting mould us into Christlikeness, and prepares us for the breakthrough.

If He has kept you waiting, He has a purpose for it.

And I learnt recently that God had a purpose for keeping the income I wanted away from me during my time as an author. Before I discovered writing, I looked up to content creators with a massive audience. I chased the numbers game, and after I picked writing up, I found myself in the middle of my dreams. I had millions of reads, and a five-figure audience. But it was only after achieving my dreams that I realised that fame wasn’t what I thought it was. It was what I thought I wanted, but it didn’t make me whole like I needed it to. I eventually gave up writing popular trends I didn’t like to gain fame, and wrote only Christian romances to honour God. And finally, that was what made me content and at peace. The fact that I knew God had first place in my life.

But you see, I had to go through that period of time where I got the fame I wanted, and it fell flat for me. Because now that I realise that the numbers game is a meaningless game, I no longer have the desire to chase after fame in this ministry (my blog). God has shown me clearly that this is my calling, and with the training He put me through with my experience in the publishing industry, I no longer have the burdensome need to attain high numbers. I don’t desire to forsake a truly helpful ministry for a meaninglessly popular one. And God said no to me then because it just wasn’t time yet because I hadn’t learnt many important truths.

So your decisions are not hindering God from answering your prayer.

It’s just not time yet.

He still has to work in you to bring you to a place that is ready for His blessing.

Your actions cannot strip God of His power or sovereignty.

He’s not waiting for you to take certain actions before He is able to make things work.

God is sovereign.

And His timing is always perfect.

If you’re waiting for a prayer to be answered, trust in Him to say yes in the exact right time. If your desires are aligned with His will and it’s time, He will give you your breakthrough.

And it won’t be one minute more or less.

Have faith in God’s timing.

Proverbs 16:9 (New International Version)

⁹ In their hearts humans plan their course,
    but the Lord establishes their steps.